Ashamed of not sleeping + looking at what’s ahead

2013 is coming to a close my friend… Next time I’ll be in touch we’ll already have entered into a new year.

What I have for you today: shame and vulnerability.

Usually I warn my clients about the pitfalls of viewing themselves as insomniacs. I ask them to refrain from talking repeatedly about how bad they sleep and how desperate of a case they are — because I want them to open up to the possibility of living something else.

But sometimes I encounter folks who are truly ashamed of not sleeping. And really worried about being found out. This is so sad.

Like this young man I was coaching last year

From the UK, in his twenties. He was terrified about having people at his job know he struggled with sleep (he feared losing his job).

Not only that: he didn’t want his family to know about it either.

While we were talking he was worrying about people in the other room hear about what he was talking about with me.

Can you sense how lonely and isolated and afraid this young man was? Do you get how alienated he was feeling, not giving himself the permission to simply be who he was at any given moment?

I sent him to watch two wonderful TED conferences online. I’ve included them at the end of this post.

But before… I want to ask you the same questions I asked this young man:

What if you were not afraid of being who you are? What if you had the courage to be vulnerably yourself in all situations?

Showing up fully in 2014

What if you started out 2014 with the intention of showing up fully as you are, even if that meant disclosing things you’re not really comfortable telling about yourself (like not hiding the fact that you’re sometimes struggling with sleep)?

What if you shared your gifts with the world without holding back?

What if we all did that? What difference would it make in the world?

Those are questions I ask myself, just as I ask them to the people I coach/advise. For me, the time of sharing my gifts in a wider capacity has come.

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Starting next January I’ll be writing a weekly Letter on my brand new site, YanMuckle.com (you’re welcome to check out my work-in-progress website, tell me what you think, and of course subscribe).

I can’t be more personal than I am on that site.

I’ll expose myself and disclose a lot. And share. All in the spirit of serving powerfully the wonderful You who wants to shine brightly.

I’ll also continue doing one-on-one coaching with a few folks who are intent about making a difference in the world. They have a voice that wants to be heard, a contribution to make, opportunities to seize. I’ll be their ally, the one who equips them so they can set out into the unknown and start to create what they most want to create — including a wonderful life that fits them — without waiting any longer.

What else? I’ll publish a book (I wrote the first draft in six very intensive days a few weeks ago) on the stories we tell ourselves. I’ll write a novel during the winter months.

I’ll also complete a coaching program at Concordia University and become a “Professional and Personal Certified Coach” — something I’m so glad to be doing, even though I’ve been coaching people on a part-time basis since 2008 (and have worked with clients on five continents already thanks to technology, which is amazing!).

What do YOU have in store? I invite you to take advantage of the time off during the holidays to reflect on that. And if you want an ally to answer your own call to adventure in 2014, have a long conversation with me.

Brené Brown on shame and vulnerability

Here are two funny, touching, poignant (and wildly popular) videos from Brené Brown.

Warning: you’ll recognize yourself, and you’ll be grateful that she had the courage to share her findings and her story.

1- The power of vulnerability:

2- Listening to shame:

There you go. I’m signing off for 2013. Wishing you a rich and rewarding holiday time with your loved ones!

Your ally,

Yan

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