My answers to a chronic worrier

by Yan Muckle, SleepTracks.com

I received an email from a lady in the UK that labels herself "a
worrier". I spent quite some time answering her. And since I think
those answers are likely to be useful to you as well
(*especially* if you share with her that tendency to worry your
nights away)... I decided with her approval to reprint our exchange here.

Here's what she sent me:

"I Don't See How it Can Be that Simple!"

"Hi i watched the 4min video and i was aware of alot of those
things already.
I seem to go through stages if insomnia in my life when i hit a
stressful time. I am a worrier so i probably allow it to get alot
worse than the average person but i do eventually get myself out of
it after a few weeks.

But this time its been going on and off for about 3months now and
its getting worse. There are far more nights now where im catching
2-3 hours and its really having an effect on me and my personality.
I feel like im getting a bit depressed too, and im worried the
effect it is having on my relationship. My original worries that
triggered the insomnia have now gone but im now left worrying about
going to sleep and its a horrible vicious circle. I used to take
herbal tablets in the past which seemed to help alot but dont seem
to help at all now. I must admit i am sceptical about your product
as i dont see how it can be that simple!

Many thanks Zoe"

My Reply to Zoe

Hi Zoe,

Thanks for sharing what you're going through with me.

First, I would say that a LOT of people are into the habit of
chronic worrying just as you, so you're definitely not alone. I
used to be like that also, so I can totally relate, and I empathize.

Since we're constantly faced with the fear of losing control over
what's happening in our life (and, would you agree, in reality we
have little or no control over many many things), we respond with
worrying. Which doesn't solve or help anything, but it at least
gives us the -- false -- feeling of *doing* something.

As you explained, one of the nastiest side-effects of that habit is
that even when the original source of the worrying disappears, the
new conditioned habit remains: you now approach sleep with
suspicion and fear. You believe you'll have trouble sleeping --
and, guess what, you does. Your mind is extremely powerful and,
most of the time, what you believe in becomes a self-fulfilling
prophecy.

What do you do to break that vicious circle?

First, you start by identifying the pattern. By recognizing that
you're maintaining a tension that doesn't need to be held anymore
since the reason for it has disappeared. As you said, your original
worries are gone now, isn't it?

Once you're aware of this, you can consciously apply yourself to
let go of the tension that's still there, trapped in your body.

And you can start to remove the association between "going to
sleep" and the act of worrying and being anxious.

So... can it be "that simple"? No in the sense that we're complex
human beings, and our ego thrives on making things even more
complicated than they need to be. But yes in the sense that these
complications all originate from a few simple sources -- even if
they take unique forms.

Same thing for the solution: even if the reason of your worrying and
the way that it shows up is unique to you, there are not many many
ways to "let go" and to "relax" :)

Of course, all this is easier said than done, especially at
bedtime, especially when the lights are off and the mind is set
free to run wild! You and I know all too well how "impossible" it
seems to stop the thinking machine when it kicks in right in the
middle of the night. I mean, it can literally drive you mad.

Who's really in control?

It also makes you realize you have no control over your thoughts --
the machine just starts running and keeps running all by itself
(which adds even more fuel to the anxiety, isn't it? You lie in the
dark and you can't even control that most intimate part of you).

In the Optimal Sleep course, I talk about the importance to stop
"trying to fall asleep", and what to do instead. I can't do justice
to that entire section here, but if you find yourself still awake
in bed after 30 minutes, for example, don't stay there. Break the
habit of "trying" and get up! Get out of the bedroom and go do some
boring chore -- wash the dishes, read a tedious book (not a page-
turner!) or do your accounting, whatever. Something that's not
engrossing nor physically arousing, but that will take your mind
off those worries and this "trying to sleep" thing. Then, when you
feel sleepy, and only then, go back to bed. Repeat as often as
needed.

You need to break completely the mind-association that currently
exists between "being in bed" and "worrying/not sleeping".

That is one approach. I would also recommend you try the "Fall
Asleep" track. The "Insomnia Buster" is not made for people like
you. Since in your case bad sleep is always associated with worry
and anxiety, theta training with the "Fall Asleep" track will work
much better.

It's much more than relaxation music. The track will actually guide
your brain away from fast beta brainwaves that are produced when
you're actively thinking/acting/being conscious, to slower theta
brainwaves, associated with sleep/being unconscious/deep meditation
states.

Just try it. It works.

Using it regularly for a while will have longer lasting effects as
well. In the same way that you unwillingly conditioned yourself to
start a pattern of worrying and thought-spinning as soon as you're
lying on your bed (or maybe for you it kicks in just in the middle
of the night, I don't know)...

The Fall Asleep track will condition your brain into falling fast asleep as soon as you lie down, all by itself, so after a while you won't need to use it anymore. This is not some kind of habit-forming thing that you have to keep using forever, on the contrary. It just helps you go in the direction you want to go.

Stop the worrying habit dead in its tracks

As I said before, stopping the worrying habit is easier said than
done. Using the Fall Asleep track is one good way (but not the only
one) of making it much easier. There are several additional
recommendations I make in the Optimal Sleep course as well.

If you find yourself waking up in the middle of the night, you can
either re-start the "Fall Asleep" track or loop the "Whole Night"
track on your CD player. This last one will help you maintain
yourself into deep sleep, which is what you need most.

If you want to read more about brainwave entrainment, and how it
works, click here.

Being skeptical is good

Finally, please keep your skepticism -- having a good BS detector
is essential in today's society! -- but don't let that prevent you
from giving a fair try to something that might help you. As I state
on the site, I offer a full money-back guarantee, so you have
nothing to lose. Either it helps you, or not. If it does not, just
ask for a refund and you'll get one within 24 hours, simple as
that. For more reassurance on the refund process, you can read that
page (scroll to the bottom part).

I trust that you won't abuse that privilege, and also that you'll
try what I recommend for more than one single night!

Whether you give SleepTracks a try or not, Zoe, is for you only to
decide. But please plant firmly in your mind that you are NOT "a
worrier". You can have cultivated the habit of worrying for a long
time, but it's NOT intrinsically a part of who you ARE.

It's a habit, nothing else -- not a part of your essence, or nature,
or whatever you call it. Consequently it can disappear, it can
dissipate. You can be free of that, as you can be free of anything
fear-related.

Of course, this goes well beyond my product and insomnia itself, but
it's my deep, ultimate wish for you.

Sincerely,

Yan

 

P.S. You know what, I love having to answer real questions like that.
It's so much more stimulating to respond directly to someone rather
than trying to come up with the right things to say to people "in
general". When I have the occasion to do so I can "sense" the
usefulness of what I have to share so much more.

So please, if you have questions, send them over without delay! Email me

Every day that you spend tired and rundown is a day during which
you can't make your highest contribution to the world. Everyone
loses. So do something!

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